Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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