I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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