I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
