At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize