HIV tests are more positive than that guy
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
