if only i could text you this smell
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
