she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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