Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
