is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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