At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Church boner. Awkwardddd
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
