I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
