are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
