oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
