I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
