i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
