In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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