a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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