let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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