just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
