I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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