Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize