So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Quick, to the slutcave!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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