youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
