Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
