ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
