last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
