Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
