Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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