Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
