There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
