I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
