i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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