omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
