I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
