You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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