Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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