If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
