the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
