dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
