We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize