I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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