Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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