I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm way too hungover for life right now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
