I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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