you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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