I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
