I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
