I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
