I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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