haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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