I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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