I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
