there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
