Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
