Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
