I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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