I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
