Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
