She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
