So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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